In a nutshell
Cannot stand people who hide the truth
Basic Behavior
Make objectives clear
Possess great deal of confidence
Honest, optimistic and energetic
ToleranceStrength and endurance depend on their aim
Give up easily if they find the job meaningless
How do they see their future and past?Positive about the past, thus do not regret about the past
Seek financial stability for the future
How do they express their emotions?Usually stable and calm
Sensitive towards sincerity
Give frank, direct opinions
How do they work?
Ability to concentrate vary from time to time, depending on aim
Mostly prefer to lead
Can overlook details
:: Secret Lady ::
0 addition on my secret
Yeah! Finally, fri comes! It been ages i looking forward to this coming fri... Why is it so??? Hmmm... cos i have applied leave on this coming mon and fri... that means i have extra 'weekends'... no Monday blues! Can imagine i work only 3 days in this coming week and 2 days in the week after next.... Haha! I can sleep even longer than before... Wow! What a nice day... Looking forward on each everyday and hope time can pass very slowly, so i can enjoy whatever things i doing... I know is IMPOSSIBLE for the time to pass slowly, but i do really hopes!!!
Think i will miss my company email lots! Hope i wont miss any gossips ba.... Do keep me updates wor! Do "flood" my emails so i know what u all chatting about...
How i hope i have the power...to stop the time from moving on when i don't wish the time moves on... I know is IMPOSSIBLE... in order to catch up with the time; i keep running with the time... But i always fail; keep running behind... and it seems even further every time i dash ahead... Can u slow down to wait for me to catch up or can i turn back the time??? Haiz, all these are just imagination... *Sigh*
Suddenly, i saw this quite a nice nick:
If I ever cry, it's to cry a shower of miracles for my friends and ppl ard me.
:: Secret Lady ::
0 addition on my secret
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its colour and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine, meant for adults, to be taken in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital. He died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how she was going to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
QUESTIONS:
1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?
ANSWER
The husband just said "I am with you Darling". The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behaviour. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.
MORAL OF THE STORY
Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a
job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.
:: Secret Lady ::
0 addition on my secret
A fatal misunderstanding and the person who love me the most in this
world is gone forever. This is a true story, taken from "Family"
(dictated by LD, edited by LSX,translated by SaFe).
Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful
footsteps to our family. Our original intend of having Mother enjoy
some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went
terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price,
every thing became too late. Just two years after our marriage, hubby
brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown
and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away
while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and
struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a
university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and
did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he
is today.
I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a
balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant some
greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me
up and
started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he
said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love
to rest on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at
any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an
argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin
me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I
became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.
Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her.
For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living
room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you
young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also
can't eat the flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the
house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble
away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly
you will get use to it."
Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever I
came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her
and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when
I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every
item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get
even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said:
"You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything
would solve it." There begins the friction to our otherwise happy
lifestyle.
Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the
breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the
wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like
the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to
notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it
as her silent protest. As i am a dance teacher in the Children's
Palace and is exhausted from a long day of dancing around, I do not
wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the
comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest
mother makes.
From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon
her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep
all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them
later on, and that resulted in our house being filled with all the
trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to
wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly
wash they again. One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing
the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly
in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that,
he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a
spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me. I got mad
and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said:
"Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating
from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"
After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak
to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in
the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma
as to who to please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare
breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing
breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would
look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding
stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid
the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own
breakfast on my way to work.
That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD,
is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you
chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me
alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some
time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?"
I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt
a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing
up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I couldn't.
I threw down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and vomited
everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying
and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the
washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes. I opened
my mouth but no words came out of it, I really didn't mean it.
We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us,
then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me
a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For
three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so
furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting
up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep
having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for
food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at the low
point in my life. Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible,
you should go and see a doctor."The doctor confirmed that I am
pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful
morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news.
Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought
of the possibility of this being the reason that day?
At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only
been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and
leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and
called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he
pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his
eyes that cut right through my heart.
I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that
moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby:
"Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me
round in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in
the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't
even withstand the test of one fight? Back home, I lay on the bed
thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried
and wet the corner of the blanket.
That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the
lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was
removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took
the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he
really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut
in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting
streaming down again. The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to
clear this out and have a good talk with hubby.
I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said:
"Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."
I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I
found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me,
his face was expressionless.
I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control
the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the
funeral, hubby did say a single word to me, with only the occasional
disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about
the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house,
she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go
back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her,
she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a
public bus came and hit her...
I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown
up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if... In his heart, I am
indirectly the killer of his mother.
Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong
liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self pity
and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we
are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in
his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back
in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough
scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at
all.
Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by,
hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we
were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am
like the dead knot in his heart.
One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass
window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very
lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After
recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood
in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I
have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything.
The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to
go,hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me,
challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by
one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had
stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside
me.
That night, he did not come home, he had chosen to use that as a way
to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each
other. He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I
returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched
- he had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call
him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished.
I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks
again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife
through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to
consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not. I insisted on
having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for
causing her death.
One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The
whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table,
there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without
even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have
gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him,
removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at
me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat,
I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes
hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there.
After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging
tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pull e paper
towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on
it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, you are pregnant?"
Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I
could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I
said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the
dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears
wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far
that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how
many times he repeated "sorry" to me, I had originally thought that I
would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in
front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget,
ever. We have drawn such deep scares in each other's heart. For me,
its unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting
for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone
past is gone forever and could not repeated. Other than the thought of
the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am
totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I
don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. >From
the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had
vanished from my heart.
Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks
in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep
in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of
groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever
I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out
what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has
forgotten that last time; I cared for him and am concerned because
there is love, but now, what is there between us?
Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing all the way till baby was
born. Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant
products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags
and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is
trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his
actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can
hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now
addicted to web surfing, but none of that matters to me anymore.
It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one
late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came
rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had
been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs,
stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat
off my brown, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached
the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying
on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind:
In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?
He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in, his warm
eyes caused me to managed a smile at him despite my contraction pain.
Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son, and me, his
eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his
hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto
the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without
opening that tired eyes of his... I had thought that I would never
shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper
pain cutting through my body at that moment.
Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it
was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to
last this long. I asked the doctor when did he first discover he had
cancer? Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying:
"Prepare for his funeral." I disregarded the nurse's objection and
rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a
suffocating pain hits me.
Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and
I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he
wrote for our son:
"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you
before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you
will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can
accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy
now no long has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the
possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your
lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's
suggestion... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as
if I have accompanied you through your life journey. To be honest,
daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the
one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."
From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work
and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small
was written there.
Hubby has also written a letter for me: "My dear, to marry you is my
biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive
me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a
joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby... My dear, if you
cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you
for loving me... These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our
son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every
year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the
packaging..." Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I
brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes
and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your
arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our
son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I
press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang
thought the air as tears slowly rolled down my face...
The end...
:: Secret Lady ::
1 addition on my secret