I don’t know what happen to me these days or perhaps weeks ago. I have the urge of going out everyday with friends to chill, to chat, to shop and to have fun too…
Friday: Time flies, last 2 weeks I just meet GS buddies and today, our dear friend Wansee going to Australia to further her studies for 2years. Initially, we thought of sending her to airport but due to some circumstances we dropped the plan and have dinner instead. Since she is empresses for only that day, we asked her to choose which place she wants to eat cos we going to ‘treat’ her and she not sure about that initially. After walking rounds at PS and see the long queues at Cartel and Swensen, we decided to try the Thai Express. We stand inside the place and waiting for the people to serve us where to sit. We waited… around 2minutes, there isn’t anyone serving us… U might be thinking, is crowded… but it seems alright to us and there are lots of staff. They just walked past us and went to do their tasks and didn’t even bother us at all. Never mind, we called one of the staff who standing quite near us, just right in front of us when she just finished taking order from the customer. She ignored our service. She didn’t bother to serve us. My God! What service is that? Some more got Grade A. We tried to make noise [especially to the staff near us], sort of saying why no one serve us and etc… Then, one staff walked towards us and asked how many tables we wanted. We told her 5. Then, she said all full only left with for 4. She asked is it alight if she put additional chair at the corner. So we asked her is it squeeze if we take that table… guess what she reply. She said what we mean by squeeze? Squeeze for 5 of us or the area of the table… Then, she just asked how many dishes we plan to order… My God, how we know??? We haven’t seen the menu! Never mind, we just proceed to eat since Wansee is in a rush to go back at 9pm to take her luggage and no one objecting not to eat Thai Express. We tried to read the menu and the description of the food. We ordered the food and drinks. We waited then after minutes our food came. They are all surprise to see me eat spicy food. Ha-ha, I also very surprise too. I not sure if I’m lucky cos the food is not spicy as what I think. Is not spicy at all! To me, they just put coloring and not indigents… but I not sure why so many people are queuing to eat. Have some gossips and chat about some of our friends and BGR. We managed to hear some juicy stories from everyone, especially from Wansee. Hey people, u all must thank me for the question I asked her… Whahaha!!! Since we can’t send her off at airport, we only can send her to North East Mrt control station. Before her ‘check in’, we hug and she gave a short speech. We managed her to stop her from saying further cos she seems almost cry out. Her watery eyes are almost pouring out! Then, she went in while we waited outside planning where we go after that. At that moment, it seems like that place is airport. The staff at mrt control is as if the checker at airport. Yanni went to church after that while Angela and Iris went to Boat Quay for some drink with Michelle and the rest. Since the time is still ‘young’, I join in. Angela led to way cos heard that Michelle has arrived. We went to a KTV pub called Cupids [I not sure is it this spelling]. We happened to ‘visit’ another pub called Skidders; the place u can almost freeze there cos the temperature is almost minus degrees. When Angela opens the entrance door, we can feel the chill, the very cold feel. Then, we just walked off cos we just want to know how it looks like… Of course, the price of every drink is also quite expensive… due to good air conditioner they using. No money to go in! Ha-ha. We went back to Cupids and ordered our drinks while waiting for Michelle to come. We waited and there isn’t any sigh of her. We called her, no ones picks up. After minutes, she arrived. Alex drove her there. It has been almost 4 years that I didn’t see both of them Michelle and Alex. They have been together again after years. Congratulation! But Alex cant join us cos heard he having probation now; must stay at home after 10pm. Still the same old Alex when I saw his photo at Michelle’s phone. Ha-ha. Of course, Michelle also has no much changed, still so cheerful and playful. She looks much better cos she has gain weight! Not like last time only weight 34kg… We chatted, drink, sing [Michelle and Shawn] and played pool [only applies to Angela, Michelle, Shawn and Maurice]. We went back at around 1plus. We stand outside waiting for cab. It came and no ones go in cos both monkeys are playing around. The cabbie waits for us quite a while when another cabbie behind him has passengers and he drove off. We waited for another cab and we faster goes off before the first cabbie came… Ha-ha! Think he is curing all of us. Anyway, quite enjoying night…
:: Secret Lady ::
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Sockiee:: she still loves him..but i'm glad to know that she's beginning to put it behind her...coz she realised that all along she has nothing...want to know more, you got to ask her yourself...i'm in no position to say...
Mine: Aiyoh, u want me to ask her... I seldom see her lei... She keep saying she's fine. Taking time to heel... Keep me update lei! Dun so niao lei...
Sockiee: who huh? someone i know?? is it that one....? insurance incident? you get me can liao...is it?? i'm concerned for her..haha...tell me tell me...
Mine: Who u referring? U mean that gal, huixian? haha... no lei... U concerned her meh? If so,u help her look for job lor... heez... She's not the one... :p
Sockiee: funny hor you....lol....hmmm....i know who's the next one....is....YOU!!!!! but you kept denying the fact that it's true....it's ok if you wanna pretend nothing is happening...but we are concerned...lol...i know you sure scold me in your heart now....or...you must be saying "YOUR HEAD LA..." kekeke.....see how well i know you....you should know what i mean lo since i've been your junior for so many years liao le...hahah..crappy~ seriously speaking...you should let him know if he does stand a chance lo...though we all have an answer in our mind but we feel you should not drag it any longer le...haha...if not, every week also kana teased by us hor...i know you not happy...but we are...wahaha....joking la...don't be mad k.....
Mine: What me! Pls lor... Ya, i nod u nod me inside out... So what! U still bully me. Sometimes gang up wif them lor. Dun think i dunno hor!
Erm, think u all lack of information sia... Outdated! Dun think i will reveal here. See if u treat me good not den i update more info to u... haha! Teased? Erm... Think is u all very ma lu ba and not me...
Sockiee: horrible le you....see la...no more sales la....humph~ joking la...hahaha....aiyo..how many times you want me to tell you? your sand still lies on siloso beach...lol.....please lo...that day coz of you i left my bottle behind le..den i happily went home...whose fault...lol....ok la...my frenz going to east coast, i ask them bring the dirty sands back k? hahahaha....bet you are sharpening some knifes liao....
Mine: I dun care, cos u still owe me.... Anyway, u haf ask ur fren to collect ur bottle liao meh. Still dare to say is my fault. How dare u! I dun wan east coast sand! {for ur info: i feel like buying canoe to bomb u...}
Sockiee: ...i dont dare to give you any pups lo....i know you not that kind-hearted~ lol...no la...i got no confidence in you...sekali i give you liao you everyday call me to help you....hahaha....later your mum scold me for getting one for you ar....somemore you no money to survive lo...how to maintain the pup? better dun la...keke...i no money to provide for my own liao lo...still provide for you...siao...you promised me one lo...broke your promise still pretend say i trying to cheat you....hahaha....remember? that's supposed to be my birthday present...alamak! who's dido? my di not dido lo....lol.....hahaha....first 2 letters are correct....ppl...cannot help her hor....hahaha....one last thing...who is ah hock? hahaha...you got all the names wrong lo...failure failure~ wahahhahaha...... please lo...if it's me...then the dog wont go missing one lo....i'm super angry with my cousin liao lo....
Mine: What! I not kind meh? Den u are? U worst sia... My mum wont scold u; she will say dun fren u... haha... Ya, i admit i poor but wif ur support sure i can keep that puppy alive one.. Rest assured! I got cheated u meh? When? Dun fool me cos i have short term memory hor... haha. Dido is not ur dog meh? Ops i dunno the name lei.... So bad.. Sobz
Sockiee: p/s: see la...suan by me for so many times...lol....anything, i'll talk to you when we meet at work...don't wanna comment much further here..especially about the above topics...not convenient....lotsa people spying...lol....no la....as you know la...hee....
Mine: Ya, i agree blog is not save to say anything... erm, but i wan to let ple nod u keep bully me!!!
:: Secret Lady ::
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Recently , encountered lots of friends' love story...
1. On Sunday, Sock and me was slacking when XL came in after meeting her friends... then somehow we can sense sth was wrong when we saw her expression! She cried when she walked towards us. Cos she knew the truth from her friends abt why her ex break up with her. I dunno if it is real not. But most probably is... I can sense she very heart broken. This is the first time i saw cried. Even though, i always joke with her or 'bet' to cried infront of me... I was stunned! Lost of words. Not sure how to console her... Then, we tried to let her cool down b4 explaining to us what is happening.
Esp for XL: Gal, dun be too sad. Time will heal ur wound. It is part of life. Everyone has to go thru it someday, somehow. Maybe in different approach. I knew u really like ur ex once,i not sure if u are now... Anyway, chen jing yong you isnt better? Think of another way... since u like that person, dun u wan that person to live better? Perhaps u two are still young. Dunno what is love abt? U will find ur one down the road... Smile:)
2. On Monday midnight, Wansee msg me. I was so tired then so didnt reply back... Is regarding if she need to express her love to her beloved one b4 she left for further study... I dunno how to guide her... at the end she did. She was rejected. I not sure abt this guy. But i do know her previous one... [cannot reveal here]
Esp for Wansee: Gal, dun be sad. [Both of them...]He has lose such a good gal in this world; he will regret! Erm... sld say he's regretting now!!! Anyway, u will be going oversea soon [2 more days] u will be able to meet more and good guys out there. So do surprise us for the good news when u reach there... Rem, we will go over to 'spot check' in 2years time... So do rem to keep in touch and last take care! Muacksss...
3. Heard that someone [better dun reveal her name, let call her J]has bf... Shocking news! Jaws almost dropped. Knew u all will say i bad. But ... got sth cannot reveal also... Gal, do do extra EXTRA careful the guys out there. Dun anyhow give number or meet anyone from net. I know u haf a 'straight' mind. Love guys' sweets talk. Stubborn gal who always dun listen to friends words; will oli listen to guys... Anwyay, be careful and all the best...
..... Who want to be the next??? Sock? Haha... Who tell u always bully me!!! Anyway, gal dun think i can get the $159 mp3 for u lei. Out of stock! Haha... And where mine? Tot i ask u to give me a bottle of sand few mths ago! Where is it? Till now, i yet to receive a grand lor... Nvm, do rem to give me a puppy can liao. I knew u got lobang, somemore free one. Rite? Do rem to be a sponsor for the puppy dog food and stuffs hor... Cos u are Sock meh... Haha Dido wont eat so much one rite? Give some to my puppy lor if u can give me a puppy. Promise! Surprise i nod ur dog name? haha... where the other puppy, ah hock? MIA? Got report to police not? Sld be u again, if not ah hock wont go missing one! Haha! ......
Updated Blog: Diane, the flirtist gal... Every mth will change target. Hehe... Always got new target to aim. Nth to say....
:: Secret Lady ::
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When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn’t really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go! You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happiness means that you’re not part of it. Everything happens for the best.
If the person you love doesn’t love you back, don’t be afraid to love someone else again, for you’ll never know unless you give it a try. You’ll never love a person you love unless you risk for love.
Love strives in hurting. If you don’t get hurt, you don’t learn how to love. Love doesn’t hurt all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test to you, to help you grow. Don’t find love: let love finds you. That’s why it’s called falling in love because you don’t force yourself to fall. You just fall. You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages size.
Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering, and growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on, and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves.
While falling out of love take some time to heal and then get beckon the horse, don’t ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time. To love is to risk rejection; to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self, to love is to risk not to be loved in return.
How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain.
Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime.
Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength. But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.
Loving people means giving them the freedom who they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitful years, you should give thanks: you know that they were the things that helped you grow. Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you’ll experience the fullness of humanity, and that is love.
Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart. Only love can make you cry and only love knows why. If you’re not ready to cry, if you’re not ready to take the risk, if you’re not ready to feel the pain, then you’re not ready to fall in love. There were times in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love because every time we do, we get hurt.
Yes, that’s why it’s called, again, falling in love. But then again, love is all there is.
:: Secret Lady ::
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I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than
for what it makes possible within our lives.
When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering days and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.
And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible. How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of
sameness, so much irritation at the others habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?
The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of
fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is
hard to see clearly in the early stages. Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination.
Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.
The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept up into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality. This is the ideal, but not often possible.
If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility. One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can
always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new.
Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being
critical together.
After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.
Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and elationships,
while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance does not become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.
There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot
nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and
dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.
So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts.
I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle.
But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes
spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe.
Marriage is a transformation we choose to make. Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come. If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the
bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed.
We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger. It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to
accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the
heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter.
But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two
separate beings, two separate presences, two separate consciousness come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one. There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared.
This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains. But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become
one.
Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex.
So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation. If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait.
The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom... endlessly.
:: Secret Lady ::
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